Breezeblocks (Emily)
by Ovarieacting
Summary: Four months after Naomi's death, and Emily's still not quite set on the right track yet. With a little help from her friends, she manages to pull her life back together, bit by bit.
1. Chapter 1 - Emily

**Author's note: Before I start, I'd like to thank my beta, 'Gerald the Puppet', she helped me a lot! Both gramatically and plot-wise. I'd also like to thank my bestfriend, who has helped me with the plot and the idea for this fic, and supported me while writing this piece. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Are you just going to keep staring at the food, or are you going to actually eat it?" Katie's brassy voice echoed throughout the dining room, and silenced the room. Emily was torn from her plate of food, at which she had been gazing for the past thirty minutes, and raised her head to look at her twin sister. Katie's newest idea of fashion was to dye her hair blonde and dress like some kind of an office lady twat.

"Katiekins, don-"

"I don't know, Katie, you know, because the thought of my dead girlfriend isn't exactly appetizing, now is it?" Emily cut in over her mother's words.

"Well I'm tired of this, Em! It's been four months! You're going to get kicked out of your fancy uni in New York, then you'll never find a job, and if you keep starving yourself you'll end up dead just like her." Seeing as she didn't get anybody's support around the table, Katie cleared her throat and looked into Emily's eyes. "She wouldn't want you to be like this, and it hurts me. No, it hurts everybody to see you fading away." Emily replied with nothing but a cold look and some fiddling with her food. "Oh, fuck's sake!" Katie murmured before standing up. "I'm done."

Katie threw one last glance at Emily, who still wasn't bothered enough to try and eat, and as her expectations failed to be satisfied, she left the table and went upstairs, muttering out loud.

"She doesn't mean to hurt you," Jenna offered Emily a faint smile. She was trying, Emily would give her that, but it was a bit too late for that. Emily returned a smile just as feeble, and left the table to follow her sister. As soon as she left, Jenna let out a silent sob. Rob wrapped his arm around Jenna in a hug.

"Oh, sweetheart, they'll talk this out. Emily just needs some time, love." Rob tightened his hug.

"It's just been so long since I've seen her happy," Jenna snuffled quietly, "Like she was with that Naomi girl."

"She'll come around eventually. She has to, she's a Fitch."

* * *

"Mind not being such a tit all the time?" Katie grunted when Emily entered their room. Instead of the countless posters that used to decorate the room, there were now elegant pictures and graceful paintings that Emily had brought from New York. Emily ignored her sister and approached her bed. Katie was packing her clothes.

"You're leaving already?" Emily asked.

"Well, unlike you, I'm trying to get a real career, so I have to leave. Besides, I'm tired of being here and waiting for you to reach a miraculous realization that you're being an actual moron, because obviously, that's not happening any time soon."

"Oh sorry, I didn't know that making coffee for businessmen counted as a 'real career'."

"Well photography doesn't count as a real career either, so get over yourself!"

"At least I don't have to screw my boss to keep the job!"

"At least I pay my own rent! Remind me again, what did Naomi do in London while Effy was working her ass off? Oh, right, she was too bothered being a fucking standup comedian for free!"

Emily let out a roar and slapped Katie. "You fucking cow!" she shouted, pushing her twin sister with gritted teeth.

Katie growled and pushed Emily back. "For once, Emily, just once, don't fuck everything up. We're all trying to help you, even mum!" She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, "We care about you, Em, and we just want you to get better."

"Better?" Emily's voice cracked, and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. She inhaled deeply, "If you want me to get better, why don't you invent a time machine so I can go back in time and never leave Naomi's side, can you do that? Do you even have a clue how I feel?"

Katie took a deep breath and bit the inside of her cheek, "Em, I'm sorry." Katie tried to hug Emily, but the twin pulled away and shook her head.

"Leave me alone, Katie." Emily replied flatly and left the room.

"Bitch!" Katie called after her sister, who was too far to hear her.

"That stupid twat!" Emily muttered as she made her way downstairs. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, clearing them from the tears the fled them. "That stupid, fucking arsehole! How dare she talk about Naomi?" Emily grabbed a coat from the hanger near the entrance door, clumsily as her hands were quivering with anger. "Like she's so fucking perfect!"She headed out of the house and let her feet lead the way. It wasn't very cold, but the wind was blowing somewhat hard. She walked past streets, buildings, parks and roads, all of which she knew like the back of her hand, to eventually be led to Naomi's old place in Bristol. It hadn't changed much, but a large pride flag was hung over the front door. The house was sold a while after Emily and Naomi headed off to London and was bought by a young gay couple.

'It must be all the oils in the bedroom, attracting homos and lesbians to our petite piece of heaven,' Naomi's voice infiltrated Emily's brain. For a second, it almost felt like she was right beside her, intertwining their fingers and sharing a laugh. She could almost feel it, she nearly reached out her hand – only to remind herself that the love of her life was in fact dead. "Jesus Christ." Emily had to shut her eyes tightly to get rid of the memories that haunted her and the shivers that ran up and down her spine.

She sat, her back leaned against a large willow tree, in the yard across the house. Being there felt bittersweet. Memories from both being with Naomi and from fighting with her rushed through her head. The tears trailed far down her cheeks, and Emily felt rather useless. All she could do was sit there and stare at what used to be her life. She felt even more useless as Katie had a point; if she didn't pull her life back together, she'd be kicked out of the university to which she tried so hard to be accepted.

"Emilio, I think you reached a new low. I mean, that's not even a couple of girls shaggin' in there," The voice came from behind her. Emily hopped up on her feet and took a few steps back. Cook was standing there, his upper body resting against the tree. "Oh come on, babe, don't be scared, it's just good old Cookie Monster."

"What the fuck happened to your face, Cook?" A malicious smile crept upon Cook's lips as Emily spoke, making the bruises on his cheeks stretch slightly. She approached him and fluttered her fingers against the wounds, causing Cook to twitch slightly. Taking a single step back and a second look at him, Emily realized that somehow Cook managed to get bigger, and more intimidating than he used to be.

"You like it?" The smile was now a grin.

"God, no!" Emily smirked, then sighed.

"You sure? Because I heard that them ladies like a man with scars." Cook's voice was obnoxiously smutty.

"Yeah, well, it probably doesn't include gay ones."

The smile slowly faded from Cook's lips. Something in the friendly environment was broken. The silence that fell on the two felt heavy, as though the memory of Naomi Campbell attached additional weight to both Cook and Emily. Cook looked up for a few seconds, as if he was examining the clouds, and when he looked back down at Emily he shifted closer to her.

He reached his hand towards Emily's face, his fingers touching her cheeks ever so gently. "Heard you weren't doing too well, Ems, want to tell me what's going on?" Emily sighed and shrugged, once again the tears getting the best of her. Cooked wrapped his arms around her in a hug, kissing the top of her forehead. Her arms return the hug.

"I can't believe that she's gone, Cook, I need her here so much." Emily snuggled her head against Cook's chest. "I miss her so, so much."

"I know you do, kid. I know you do." Cook exhaled heavily, holding onto Emily stronger.

"She was so sick, she didn't even have the strength to fight it anymore." Emily was crying. Cook remained silent, not saying a single word. A few seconds passed, followed by a few minutes, and eventually Emily calmed down. It felt rather odd, simply standing in silence, wrapped in Cook's arms. It was always so loud around Cook. She pulled away from Cook, gently, and wiped the tears off her face. "Thank you, Cook."

"No problem, muff monkey," he replied, ruffling her hair. Emily elbowed Cook, who replied with a chuckle. They tussled a little, mainly tickling each other, and found their way to the grass. They both sat, breathing heavily, yet feeling somewhat better. Cook pulled out a fag and lit it. As he inhaled the smoke in an exaggerated manner, causing the smallest hint of a smile to appear on Emily's face, an idea seemed to have popped into his mind. "Hey, Ems, I'm going to this party later tonight, yeah? You should come."

"To a party?" Emily grabbed Cook's fag. She inhaled the smoke and returned the fag. "Do I look like I'm in the mood for partying, Cook?"

"Well, no, but that's exactly why you should come. I mean, you don't drink because you like it, right? You drink because you want to feel better, and partying will make you feel better."

"I really don't think so."

"Oh come on, Ems! Don't be such a pussy!"

"No! And besides, how's partying going to help anyway?"

"There's gonna be a ton of shaggable girls at the party."

"I'm not exactly looking for a shag at the moment, Cook, but thanks for the kind offer." Emily's words oozed with sarcasms and Cook replied with laughter.

"Suit yourself, kiddo. I know that if I were you, I'd be all over the fucking city looking for a bit of fun like that, you know what I mean?" He spoke with the fag still in his mouth. Emily snatched the fag out of his mouth and inhaled the smoke, exhaling in his direction.

"Well I'm not you, I handled a long-distance relationship with Naomi without shagging half the girls in uni." Emily examined the cigarette in her hand, the way it looked between her fingers. It would look rather nice as a photograph, she thought, and inhaled once more before returning the fag to Cook. "Did you know I haven't smoked one of these in a long time?"

A cheeky smile spread on Cook's face, and he looked rather entertained. "Going down the drain, are we?" Cook threw the fag away with a smug look. He got up and helped Emily to stand up on her feet. "Come to the party, Ems!"

"I'll think about it, Cook, but I really don't feel like it," Emily replied dryly.

"For old time's sake, for me, for her." Cook moved a strand of Emily's hair behind her ear. "I think she'd like to see you party with me." Once more, the devilish smile struck Cook's features.

"Yeah, right," Emily smiled at Cook as she started pacing away.

"Think about all the shaggable girls you're missing!" Cook raised his voice so that Emily would hear him. Emily laughed in reply, raising her thumbs up in the air as she kept walking. Holding his fists up in a victorious manner, Cook shared one last glance at Naomi's old house, and walked away as well.

* * *

After taking a shower, Emily was sitting on her bed with an album full of photographs from her and Naomi's trip to Goa in its accustomed place on her knees. She passed her fingers against the pictures, examining them and finding Naomi gazing back at her from the photographs. She was smiling, her blonde hair was messy due to the wind, and there was a spark in her eyes. She looked perfectly healthy, like not a thing in the world could put out the fire in her gaze.

"_Katie shum."_

Emily must've been too focused on the album to notice her twin sister enter the room. Emily took the picture of Naomi she looked at out of the album. She closed the album and put it aside, folding the picture and putting it in the front pocket of her bright yellow shorts, scooting a little to the side so that Katie could sit next to her. "It's just that I sometimes forget the reason she's not here. Like, how shitty everything is for you right now, and seeing you like this is really hard, Emily!" Katie took Emily's hand in hers and squeezed it. "I'd do anything for you, you know that, right?"

Emily nodded her head, "Yeah, I know."

"Then help me! Do something! You can't stay like this, Em, and I can't stay here forever, but if I leave you here all by yourself, mum's gonna go all mental!" Somewhere along the sentence, Katie started giggling at the thought of Jenna Fitch desperately trying to help her daughter in every way possible, buzzing around her like a bee. Emily chuckled quietly and looked into her sister's eyes.

"I'm going to get better, I promise." Emily squeezed her twin's hand back reassuringly.

"You better!" The sisters sat in silence for a few seconds, feeling relieved. "I, uh, got to go, Em. My boss invited me to this fancy dinner with other employees tonight."

"S'alright, I can handle it," Emily offered Katie a smile.

"If you say so." Katie inhaled deeply. "I can ask him to do it another night if-"

"No! Go, Katie. You need to loosen up a little, I mean you've being a real fucking twat lately."

"Okay. If anything happens though, just give me a call," Katie got up on her feet and approached her wardrobe, going through it and pulling out two dresses. One had a leopard print on it, and the other was black and sparkly, and looked like it would show quite a lot of skin. "Which one?"

"The black one, definitely the black one. I mean, come on," Emily got up on her feet as well, grabbing the leopard print dress and tossing it away. "He's going to be all over you.," Katie smiled at Emily with gratitude and Emily returned the smile before she exited the room.

* * *

"I knew you'd change your mind, muff monkey!" Cook's cheeky smile was nearly audible through the phone. Emily rolled her eyes, but a smile took place on her lips.

"Well, I guess you just got lucky, Katie's out tonight and I'm not spending it at home with my lunatic of a mother." Emily bit down on her lip and took a deep breath."Where can we meet up?"

"How about Freddie's shed in thirty minutes?"

"Yeah, okay, I'll be there." Emily hung up the phone. Sneaking out of the house wasn't too hard of a mission, seeing as Jenna and Rob had another one of their stupid fights over whose fault it is that Emily wasn't getting any better yet. Just as Jenna pulled the Naomi card, Emily muttered quietly and got out the front door. That stupid bitch just won't learn, she thought. _They all think they know how I feel, and blame Naomi for everything that's wrong with me_.

It was a chilly night and there weren't many people outside. Emily hurried up, all trembling and her skin covered with goose bumps, both because of the cold and the anger she felt. A couple of posh-looking men whistled as she passed by and exchanged dirty looks. She shivered in disgust, trying to walk as far away from the two as the sidewalk allowed. The two started to follow her, walking faster to catch up with her pace.

"Who's the bloody idiot that let you out on your own?" They were clearly drunk. Emily ignored them and picked up the pace. "Oh come on, don't be like that, peachy!"

"Fuck off," she hissed at the two, feeling rather uncomfortable. They seemed to not be convinced and refused to leave her be.

"I know you want this, come on, s'just a little cock, nobody ever died from th-"

"Get lost, would you!"

"No, you come here!" One of the two, who seemed to be slightly more drunk, grasped Emily by the arm. He pulled her closer to him violently, his body grinding against hers. She tried to push him away, nearly weeping with revulsion.

"Leave me alone!" Emily screamed at the one who grabbed her, now completely started to unzip his pants, still holding onto her. She kicked him in the groin. Twice. He let out an odd combination of a shout and a moan, let go of Emily, and fell to the ground.

"You bitch!" The other one yelled, trying to catch her. Emily spat in his direction and started running. "You fucking bitch, come back here!" The man immediately started to chase Emily down the street. She was faster, but he was much taller, and a single step of his was worth at least two of hers. He was a few steps away from her when Emily heard a loud thumping sound.

She turned around to see Cook sitting on top of the man, punching him in the face. "You fucking pussy, picking on a girl?" Cook was shouting, grabbing the man by the shirt and lifting his upper body, just to punch him several more times. The man seemed to have lost consciousness.

"Cook, stop! He's done!" Emily kneeled next to Cook, resting one hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in an attempt to calm him down.

"No one messes with my friends, you hear me?"

"I don't think he can hear much of anything," Emily whispered. Cook let go of the man, whose head hit the road with a thud, and looked at Emily, wiping sweat off his face with the back of his arm. He was breathing heavily.

"You okay?" He asked, getting off the man onto the ground, sitting with his legs spread forward and his hands supporting his weight behind him. Emily replied with a shrug. "Fucking wankers," he fumed, and kicked the unconscious man.

"Come on, let's go," Emily mumbled.

"You absolutely sure? You were just attacked, Emily, it's okay if you don't want to go."

"I'm absolutely fine, Cook,"

Cooked weighed the options in his head for a few seconds before speaking. "We're going to Freddie's shed."

"What? Why? I want to go to the party!" Emily protested. Cook shifted his weight and leaned closer to Emily, resting his arms on her shoulders in a soothing manner.

"Because I care about you, and if I let you go right now, Naomi would punch the living shit out of me. You know that, Em."

Cook supported Emily as they walked through Freddie's garden and towards the shed. It looked very small on the outside, and it wasn't very large on the inside as well. They entered the shed, leaving the cool evening outside as Cook shut the door behind them. Emily sat on the floor with her back to one of the couches.

It was silent for a few minutes, and Emily had the chance to review the past events in her mind. She was overwhelmed, but mostly she was just worn out. She was tired of feeling sad, of doing nothing and waiting for a miracle to happen, of lagging behind. She rested her head on Cook's shoulder, and felt his torso heaving and returning to its previous position.

"I miss her too, Em," Surprised by his suddenly candid words, Emily pulled away to look at Cook. "I sometimes felt like she was the only fucking person on earth to understand me completely." He took another deep breath. "We both felt like useless pieces of shit, like a waste of fucking space, her and me both." Cook's features were full of pain; he was trying to fight the tears. "And we always fucked everything up."

"No, you didn't!" Emily objected, reaching her hand out to Cook's shoulder. He smiled at Emily and started chuckling.

"You're too sweet for this fucked up world, muff monkey." Cook shifted in his place. Emily took her hand off his shoulder.

"Can we just go to the fucking party?" Emily's voice was barely audible.

Cook nodded his head, and the two headed to the party. The place, although a normal house, had a shady feeling to it. It was a two-storey building that looked rather tacky, and there were a lot of the people inside of it. Loud, upbeat music came from inside the building. The guard at the entrance threw an examining look at Emily and Cook, then he nodded his head and opened the entrance door. "After you, madam." Cook gestured with his hand towards the door. Emily entered, and was soon surrounded by many people, grinding up against each other, and music.

Emily shut her eyes, taking a deep breath. It'd been a while since the last time she attended a party and she was on the verge of a panic attack. She felt someone taking her hand, leading her forward into the center of the party. She opened her eyes to find it was Cook, helping them make their way through the dancing crowd. She was suddenly reminded of the time he danced with her the night Katie found out that she was gay, not judging her. There was something calming about Cook's presence, a sense of protection.

"I'm getting us some drinks, you stay right here, alright? Don't want nothing bad happening to ya when I'm not around." He tilted her head up slightly with his hand, and Emily nodded in reply. As he headed off, Emily began dancing to the rhythm of the music, eyes closed, thoughts shut. She let the music take over her mind, ignoring everything else. It wasn't long until Cook was back with two drinks in his hands. He handed one to Emily, who finished it all in one shot, and returned the petite shot glass. "Impressive," he said with a grin, finishing his drink and putting it aside, and started dancing with Emily.

It wasn't long until Emily felt the effect of the alcohol. Her head became somewhat fuzzy and she didn't mind all the people dancing close to her, occasionally running into her. She felt free, like nothing had ever happened at all, like it was just her and the music, and Cook, guarding her state of mind. She was dancing, enjoying herself for the first time since Naomi's death. A part of her wanted to do something insane. Something that she'd do to get back at Naomi when she found out about Sophia. Something to get back at Naomi for leaving her all alone. Forever.

The two had a few more drinks, and kept dancing on the dance floor, unbothered by the masses around them. Cook was behind her, grinding against her, running his hands through her body. She smiled and kept dancing, too focused on the music and the overwhelming sensation that has taken over her to mind it. She didn't want to mind it, she didn't want to think at all. She felt Cook shifting even closer to her, kissing a trail up her neck. She nearly gasped, but forced herself not to think, not to care. She knew that thinking would mean remembering that Naomi's gone.

He was holding her, supporting her in a way, not allowing her to fall apart. He was the only thing she had left in Bristol that didn't make her want to punch a wall. Or throw herself off a bridge, as some things did. Being with Cook meant not thinking, not thinking meant not hurting. She turned her head to his direction and kissed him. He returned a kiss and moved to face her. She felt like she was surrounded only by Cook, like there was no one else out there. Their tongues brushed against one another somewhat clumsily as they were both fairly drunk.

It seemed like the amount of people kept growing bigger and bigger, and it wasn't long until Cook had too little space to dance. He pushed away some of the people around him, trying to clear some space for him and for Emily, and they pushed him back. It wasn't long until Cook was fighting with some of the men. He drifted away into the crowd, and Emily kept dancing, not caring for the people that tried to dance with her. She tried to call Cook, but the music was too loud for him to hear her.

She pushed her way through the crowd, searching for Cook. He was fighting a group of about five people, and it seemed like one of them was in charge of the security. He threw his fists all around, kicking and cussing. Emily took a deep breath, a wicked smile appeared on her face, before she pushed herself against one of the people who were fighting Cook with all of her weight. The man fell, and Emily started laughing hysterically. The man pushed her aside and attempted to get back up on his feet to help his friends fight Cook, but Emily latched onto his legs. He fell over and groaned with pain.

"Fuck off, you whore!" the man barked, and kicked Emily. She grunted with pain and curled over her stomach. The fighting seemed to have gotten worse and the pain in Emily's stomach wouldn't go away.

"Come on, kiddo!" Cook picked Emily up, and carried her through the dancing crowd, escaping the angry mass that was set on hurting him as much as possible. The two were out of the club, and Cook helped Emily to stand up. He kept holding onto her petite frame so that she wouldn't fall. She was giggling, although the pain in her stomach wasn't gone yet. "Em, you alright? You been hit?" Emily shook her head.

"No, I'm fine," she said in a husky voice, breathing in and out heavily.

"I got an idea, let's go." Cook took Emily by the hand, and she followed him without saying a single word. They weren't walking very fast, seeing as they were both exquisitely drunk. They eventually reached a tall building. Emily stopped.

"What is this place?" she inquired.

"This is where my flat is." Cook stopped for a second, glancing at Emily to see her reaction.

"Oh fuck it, why not." Emily jerked her head towards the entrance to the building and the the two went inside the building. Cook's apartment was on the top floor, so they used the elevator. The silence in the elevator, and the adrenaline rush that coursed through her veins amongst the alcohol, sobered Emily up a little bit. It was a small elevator, and it didn't look very safe. Looking in the mirror, Emily noticed the blood on Cook's shirt and face, and the wound that spread along her left cheek. "Jesus Christ," she whispered.

Cook started laughing loudly. He was looking in the mirror as well, exchanging gazes with Emily. "This is fucking insane," he smirked, looking closely at the fresh wounds on his face which added onto the previous ones. The elevator door opened, and Cook led the way to his apartment.


	2. Chapter 2 - Naomi

******Author's note: **Once again, I'd like to thank my Beta for doing such a magnificent job. I'm sorry this one took long, but here it is, the second chapter. I'd like to thank the ones who followed, favourited and reviewed the story. It means a lot to me! I hope you guys will like the second chapter as well, and reviewes will be gladly accepted. Any suggestions as to the plot or the writing will also be of great help. So here it is, without further ado, the second chapter:

* * *

Emily woke up and opened her eyes. She had fallen asleep on a couch in Cook's small apartment. It was rather messy, Cook's clothes thrown all over the place, and the windows looked rather dirty. Emily sighed, she felt like she hadn't had any sleep at all. She couldn't remember most of the events from the previous night. She sat on the couch and stretched her arms – she felt pain buzzing from her stomach. She lifted the hems of her shirt to take a look at the source of the pain, and found a large, colorful bruise.

Cook had fallen asleep on the floor right next to her. Rubbing her eyes, she stood up. Her head was still spinning a bit, and a little packet that held traces of white powder in it was lying on Cook's bare back. Emily approached the refrigerator and opened it. It was empty. "Christ," she said under her breath, and sat back on the couch. Cook woke up with a groan and turned to lie on his back. He looked at Emily.

"What time is it?" He asked, sitting up.

"Don't know," Emily bit down on her lips, "Did we…?"

"Shag?" Cook laughed, "You wouldn't even let me bone you when you're stoned."

"Thank God," Emily smiled at Cook, who returned a lazy smile. "I need to go back home."

"Already?" he asked. Emily nodded in reply and stood up.

"Well, come around when you feel like it, it gets kinda boring in here sometimes." Cook joined Emily and accompanied her to the door.

"Cook, I'm never, ever, under any circumstance, going to fuck you," Emily opened the door and smiled briefly at Cook.

"I tried," he said, smiling back at Emily. "Take care though, wouldn't want anything bad happening to ya." Emily's smile grew bigger, and she planted a kiss on Cook's cheek, before she walked out the door and headed to her parents' house.

* * *

Emily rang the doorbell and waited anxiously for an answer. She heard yelling from inside, so she put her ear against the door and tried to hear as much of the conversation as she could. "I can't take it anymore! She doesn't appreciate what we do for her, and now she's off to God knows where!" Jenna's voice, though muffled, could be heard clearly through the door.

"But she needs you, Mum! Can't you see how broken she is?" Katie tried to convince her mother.

"She doesn't need me, what she needs is to be pushed back into the world."

"Can you even hear yourself talking?" Katie was now nearly roaring in reply.

"But this is the truth, Katie!" Jenna raised her voice as well, to match her daughter's.

"Well, you can shove your fucked-up truth up your saggy tits!"

The door was flung open, and Emily took a quick step back. Katie was standing at the door, her blonde hair sticking out of a messy bun. "And where the fuck have _you_ been?" She hissed at Emily.

"Partying with Cook," Emily replied.

"Oh, fucking brilliant then," Katie's voice was drowning in a mixture of sarcasm and anger, and she took a deep breath. Emily tried to enter, but her twin blocked the way in. "Mum wants you to leave."

"Okay." Emily shrugged.

"Uh, no, not okay! You can't let her win!"

"But it's not about winning, is it? Look, I'm tired of this, she's tired of this. For fuck's sake, even you're tired of this. It's time for me to go."

Katie moved so that Emily could walk in the door, and when she did, Katie looked rather clueless. "But," she paused, weighing the possibilities in her head, "where are you going to go?"

Emily shrugged once more. "I don't know, I'll figure it out."

"_Where in the world have you been, young miss! __We've been all over the place looking for you, Rob even went to the hospital because he thought you might've died!"_ Jenna's voice tore through the room.

"It's none of your business." Emily went upstairs to her and Katie's bedroom.

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong, it is very much my business. I've been taking care of you for almost four months now, and this is what I get?" Jenna followed Emily.

"Don't worry, Mum, no need to bother yourself anymore with your own daughter! I'm leaving."

Jenna replied with laughter, "And where is it exactly you think you're going, hun?"

"As far away from your saggy tits as I can, hun." Emily threw a short, vicious glance at Jenna's eyes. Jenna looked as though she was slapped in her face, and Emily found watching her face go from unbelievably pale to tomato-red was rather amusing.

"You're such a miserable failure! Every single time something good happens to this family, you find a way to fuck it all up. Photography? How are you even intending to make a living out of taking pictures? You're a disgrace, and I am sick and tired of your attitude. Why can't you be more like your sister and grow up? It's not just about you and her, life goes on! Get over it, Naomi Campbell is dead!" Emily felt like she had been hit by a bus. Entirely shocked, not a muscle in her body was able to move. She remained standing in her place, looking at her mother with dismay. It wasn't the first time that Jenna lost her temper, but somehow it had never felt this painful until that very moment. But something inside of her shifted quickly, and Emily felt unrestrainable rage bubbling in her stomach.

"And how are you any better? Huh? This family you're talking about has fallen apart long ago, because all you do is think about yourself and how other people view you! Soon enough, James is going to be old enough to move out – and guess what, he won't even stop for a heartbeat to think about it. You're unbearable, I don't even know why Dad sticks around, seeing as you turn his life into a living hell time after time. You're pathetic, and a coward, and you'll never be able to change." Emily entered her room and shut the door behind her.

She packed her clothes, shoving them into her suitcase as fast as she could. She rushed down the stairs, her suitcase hitting each step of the staircase with a loud thumping sound.

"You know she didn't mean what she said." Emily nearly dropped her bags at the sound of her twin's voice behind her. She turned around to see Katie crying, her face all red and puffy. "You're not a failure. In fact you might be the smartest person in this stupid family."

"I'm sorry," Emily said quietly, letting go of her luggage to hug her sister. "I love you, Katie."

"Of course you fucking love me," Katie replied. "Call me though, yeah?"

Emily pulled away, her hands holding her sister's, and nodded her head. "Sure." She let go of her sister, grabbed her suitcase again, and walked towards the door. She exited the house, doing her best not to look back at it as she walked away.

* * *

"Emilio! Back already for some more partyin'?" Cook spread his arms in welcome and took a few steps back so Emily could enter his flat. A smile was spread across his face, and Emily had a feeling that Cook had had a couple more drinks since she left. She walked into the apartment, and closed the door behind her, placing her suitcase next to the door. Cook pulled her in for a hug, and kissed the top of her head. She pulled away after a few seconds, and took a deep breath, looking into Cook's eyes. Cook's smile became somewhat faint.

"Actually, Cook, I uh…" She looked around her. The apartment somehow looked even messier than it was before. She hesitated, but the look in Cook's eyes pushed her to keep talking. "I need a place to stay for a little while." She bit on her bottom lip, awaiting Cook's reaction.

The smile returned to Cook's lips, and he grinned with delight. "And of all places in the world, you chose my humble home?" Emily was pulled in to yet another hug, somewhat surprised by Cook's sudden rain of affection. "Of course you can stay, Ems! You can sleep on the couch or somethin' and bring girls so I can watch some lesbian action."

"There's not gonna be any lesbian action, so if it's a must – I'm sorry to disappoint you." Emily smiled as well, hugging Cook back.

"Nah, not a must, just an old fantasy of mine. So how long is a 'little while'?" He let go of her and glanced at her suitcase, probably trying to assume how many clothes would fit in there to calculate how long Emily was intending to stay, so she guessed.

"Until I earn enough money to buy tickets to New York."

Cook nodded his head, still trading glances between Emily and her luggage.

"It's not going to take long, I promise." Emily looked to see how he was taking the news, but Cook didn't seem to mind. He shrugged, turned away from the suitcase, and focused on Emily.

"Yeah, I gotta go now, take care of some business," he said.

"Business?" Emily inquired. Something about Cook's voice didn't sound quite right to her.

"Yeah, payment stuff. Look, make yourself at home, yeah? There's some good drinks in the fridge, but if you finish 'em you gotta buy new ones. See ya later." Cook headed out the door, leaving Emily alone in his condo. She sighed, biting the inside of her cheek, and approached one of the incredibly dirty windows. Though it was sunny outside, a very small amount of light infiltrated the apartment. She scrubbed some dust that stuck to the window with her fingers, surprised by how much of it there was on there.

"Impressive," she mumbled, brushing the dust off her fingers. She turned to the kitchen and went through the drawers in search for something to clean the windows with. She grabbed some Windex and a rag, and took a deep breath as she processed the complexity of the challenge she had taken on. She sprayed some of the Windex in the air, a sly smile appearing on her face. "Here we go."

She sprayed, she scrubbed, she cussed, and a couple of hours later – the windows were clean. She wiped the sweat off her brow and admired her achievement. Now that light filled the apartment, the mess inside was a lot more noticeable. She spun once, slowly, in her place, examining the living room. "Jesus Christ." She whispered, her eyes widening at the chaos. She looked down, noticing a pair of underwear underneath her feet. Scowling in disgust, she leaned down to pick them up. She blurted out a quiet "Eugh." and dropped the underwear back to the floor.

After a long session of picking up dirty clothes and tossing them to a pile next to the washer that stood in Cook's tiny bathroom, and bringing all the dishes to the sink, the apartment looked livable. While she was going through the cabinets in Cook's kitchen, Emily stumbled upon a bottle of win. She eventually sat on the couch in the living room, the bottle of wine that she found held in her hand. Emily took a large swig out of the bottle. Although the apartment was still a bit awful, it wasn't as horrid as it used to be.

Emily reached to the pocket of her shorts, and took out the picture she had grabbed from her album. She unfolded it and looked at the photograph. Naomi stared out, the flame in her eyes burning across the unimaginable distance that separated them. Emily took another swig of wine, not bothering to fight the tears that formed in her eyes. "I miss you," she whispered, looking at the photograph. She took a deep breath, growing more and more tired of feeling helpless and lost with every second.

The sound of a slamming door woke Emily up, causing her to spill the wine she appeared to still be holding while she slept. "Fuck's sake," She she murmured, opening her eyes and sitting up. The picture of Naomi she was looking at stuck to her hands. Cook was standing next to the door, an apologetic expression smeared all over his face.

"You cleaned everything up?" he asked.

"Oh, no, the fucking tooth fairy repaid her debt. She told me to say hi." Emily placed the bottle she held on the coffee table in front of her.

Cook chuckled and nodded his head. "Funny!" he proclaimed and sat next to Emily. "Wine? Really? A refrigerator full of beer and vodka, but you choose wine?"

"What can I say, I'm classy." Emily shrugged in reply.

"Of course you are, Em. New York must've really spoiled ya, didn't it, princess?" Cook was doing one of his moves again, caressing Emily's cheek with the tips of his fingers.

"Still not going to fuck you, Cook." A smile was threatening to form in the corners of her mouth, and she pushed him playfully.

"We'll see about that." He took out a spliff, wiggling his eyebrows seductively. He lit it up and inhaled from it.

"You're trying to smoke your way into my pants?" Emily surrendered to the smile that formed on her lips.

"Nah, never. You don't want it, I get it, not going to humiliate myself to shag ya. If you change your mind, I'm cool about. If you don't, I'm just gonna shag someone else, ain't no problem." Cook shrugged and offered Emily the spliff.

Emily took the spliff and inhaled. "How do you like your apartment not looking like a shithole?" she asked.

Cook took a look around him, a fake serious expression pinned to the features of his face. After a few seconds of observation, he nodded his head, focusing on Emily again. "Yeah, it's nice. Very minimalistic, very simple. I like it." He took the spliff away from Emily, "But I do think that a touch of naked babes making out would make this place look even better," he added, with a mischievous smirk.

"For fuck's sake!" Emily's eyes widened and although she laughed, she hit him in the back as hard as she could. He shouted in pain, but laughed as well. Cook stood up swiftly – struck by yet another one of his ideas, Emily assumed. He offered her his hand, looking very pleased with himself, as though he was about to tell an amazingly hilarious joke. Emily looked at him with confusion, hesitating.

"Oh come on, Em! Let's go!" He pointed his head towards the door, still waiting for her to take his hand.

"Where to?" she asked, taking Cook's hand.

"To a very nice pub, not far from here." Without waiting for her reply, he started leading the way to the door.

"Don't you think we did enough partying yesterday?" She slowed Cook down and refused to move.

"Do you not trust me it'll be fun?" He asked, turning around to look into Emily's eyes. Meeting only doubtful look from her side, he rolled his eyes, still not letting go of Emily's hand. "Okay look, princess, I promise it won't be like last time. It'll be quiet, not as many people, not as much fightin'." He tracked the changes in Emily's eyes, smiling victoriously when she blurted out a short "Fine" and stopped opposing him.

* * *

They arrived at the pub, which was noticeably smaller than the one the two had been to the night before, and Cook smiled with pride. Emily looked at him with a bit of a confused face, almost expecting him to say that it was a joke. "That's it?" She she asked.

"Told ya it was different, muff monkey." He approached the pudgy guard at the entrance, smiling at him and chuckling. "How're ya doing, Frank?"

The guard chuckled in reply, standing up and shaking Cook's reached out hand. "M'alright, just doing them good old night shifts to get some money in me pocket. I'm all out of beer, see. Now, won't you tell me who's that lovely lady you brought with you?" The guard now looked at Emily, smiling amiably.

Emily smiled back at the guard and shook his hand. "I'm Emily," she replied.

"Emily, what a lovely name you have there! I used to have a lover named Emily, but she ran away with my best mate. Can't say she broke my heart though. See, when she left, she forgot a nice stash of cash under her side of the bed." The guard chuckled, opening the door and letting them in. "Have a good time, you two. If you happen to be able to sneak me a nice glass of beer while you're in there, I'd be very grateful."

"Your wish is my command, Frankie man." Cook winked at the guard, and the two entered the pub. The place was a lot quieter than Emily had expected, and there weren't many people inside. Something about the atmosphere within the petite pub made Emily want to pull out her camera and snap a couple of photographs. "Vodka?" Cook's voice shook Emily out of her thoughts. She nodded her head and looked around her. She examined the people at the pub, their different faces and drinks, their unique voices and conversations. She was reminded of the night in the club when Sophia died, and shut her eyes as a wave of shivering crawled up her spine. "You alright, Em?" She felt Cook's hands supporting her shoulders, and something about his presence calmed her down.

She opened her eyes and nodded her head, smiling as she did so. "Yeah, I'm okay." Cook took the vodka shots off the counter and offered one to Emily. She took it and intertwined her arm with Cook's. The two drank the vodka and Cook howled when he drank down his shot, causing Emily to raise an eyebrow.

"Where's your party spirit?" he asked with a cheeky smile. He immediately turned to the bartender afterwards and slammed the shot glass on the counter. "Another one, mate. And for her, too." He snatched Emily's shot glass out of her hand and gave it to the bartender. The bartender looked at him with a disgusted face, but poured them another drink.

"Does having a good time with you always has to end up with being drunk?" Emily inquired, taking her shot glass from the bartender with an apologetic smile.

After finishing his shot, Cook nodded his head vigorously. "Pretty much so, muff monkey. It ain't no fun if you're not a little fucked in head, don't ya think?" Emily noticed a change in Cook's gaze, as though someone put the light out in his eyes. He suddenly seemed to be somewhat more vulnerable to her. "'Cause if you're not fucked, then you start thinkin', and then you're just fucked on a whole other level, man."

He had a point, she thought. Being sober only led her to thinking about Naomi and her death, but being drunk eased the pain. She took a deep breath and downed her vodka. After a few more shots, Emily found herself dancing with Cook in a small open space in the bar. The dancing didn't suit the indie records that were playing in the background, but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything. She felt Cook stop dancing behind her, and she turned around. He was talking to a tall, clumsy-looking man, who shifted his gaze from Emily to Cook and back. Cook nodded his head and the two headed off to another corner of the bar. "Cook!" Emily exclaimed. Cook motioned her to wait a second, and she took a deep breath and looked around.

She realized that she felt naked without Cook's protection, like she wasn't safe without him there. She forced herself to calm down and give in to the effect of the alcohol, and she started dancing again. She let the music calm her down and take over her thoughts. "I can ask the wanker who's in charge of the music to change to something a bit less depressing if you want." Emily turned around to look at the person talking. It was a woman, the dark, sleeveless top and the denim shorts her clothes suggested she's into the Indie music.

Something about the way her eyes resembled a cat's eyes attracted Emily's attention. Her facial features were sharp and bold, and her brown hair was collected in a bun on top of her head. _She'd be a great model_, Emily thought. The woman smiled, and the piercing under her bottom lip shifted a bit in its place.

"That'd be nice," Emily replied, with a faint smile.

"Alfred! How about some music that won't make me feel suicidal?" The woman yelled across the bar, where the DJ – Alfred, – was fiddling around with the music software. He made a scowling face and hissed a nasty reply which was muffled by the loud music, but after a few seconds the music changed. It was now playing an upbeat electronic track, and the smile on the woman's face grew even wider somehow. "I'm Cheryl." The woman turned to face Emily and started dancing.

"I'm Emi-"

"Hey Ems! Come over here, I got a little surprise for ya!" Cook shouted, waving at her from the entrance to the loo.

"Is he giving you problems?" the woman asked. It took Emily a few seconds to realize that the woman was referring to Cook.

"No! He's my friend. I have to go," she mumbled, and made her way towards Cook.

"Sorry for cockblockin', but I got us some drugs." He waved the dime bag at Emily, a cheeky smile occupied on his lips. Emily was about to reply, but Cook seemed to have read her mind. "Now, before you say no, just remember you ain't going to be here forever, and you need to loosen up, man. I saw you on the couch with her picture. Don't you want to let go?"

Emily bit on the inside of her cheek and waited for a few seconds before answering, while Cook offered his devious smile. "Jesus Christ. Okay! I'll do the drugs. But you're still not getting anywhere near my pants, okay?"

"Alright, now you're talking sense!" Cook cheered with delight and opened the door to the loo. They entered and started emptying the small bag, by sniffing the white powder it contained, and applying it on their fingers and into their mouths. The drugs immediately made Emily's head go blurry, and she started laughing quietly. "What's so funny?" Cook asked. Emily didn't answer, but kept laughing. Eventually Cook joined her, his laughter thundering throughout the room, filling it. Emily felt like, for a moment, there was nothing in the world but that room, and Cook, and the echoing memory of Naomi.

"What are you two doing?" Emily ceased from laughing. It was the woman, Cheryl.

"What does it look like we're doin'?" Cook smirked and dropped the dime bag into the wastebasket on his left.

"How about something illegal?" Cheryl hissed back at him.

"Alright, alright, I get it. You two ladies want to get some alone time, I got ya. No need to get upset." As he moved past the girl, he whispered into her ear, "But she's a tough nut, I tell ya." He patted on her shoulder, and then left the room.

"Are you okay?" The woman asked, moving closer to Emily.

"Fine, brilliant." Emily shrugged, and started giggling as the blur in her head reached a certain climax. She felt numb, yet at the same time very much alive. She wanted to feel more, but at the same time she wasn't sure if she even could.

"Got you a little bit fucked up, didn't he?" Cheryl shifted even closer to Emily, tilting her chin up gently with her fingers. Emily looked at Cheryl's lips, the distance between the two kept getting smaller and smaller as the seconds ticked by.

"You have no idea." Emily leaned in and kissed her, tugging on her shirt to pull her closer. Cheryl kissed Emily back, placing her free hand on Emily's waist. Cheryl parted her lips, and Emily swiped her tongue against hers, still pulling her closer. Cheryl deepened the kiss and pinned Emily to the wall. Her hand went under Emily's top and up her stomach. Something about the euphoric atmosphere changed, and Emily hesitated, breaking the kiss.

"What's wrong?" Cheryl whispered, her keen eyes searching for Emily's.

"I can't do this," Emily blurted out in reply, her mind fogged up and her heart racing.

"What? Why?"

"I have to go." Emily squeezed through the tiny space that Cheryl's arm created between her and the room's wall. She exited the pub and stopped outside, taking deep breaths in an attempt to reassemble her thoughts. Her heart was still racing, and she couldn't focus her sight.

"Lovely Emily! You're not looking all that good. In fact, you look bloody terrified. Want to tell an old folk what happened?" Emily had forgotten about Frank and made a tiny screaming noise when the guard spoke. Emily shook her head in reply. Frank examined her face steadily for a few more seconds before he stood up and took off his jacket. He gave it to Emily, putting it over her back and shoulders. "I'd advise you to go home, little one. I'll tell Cookie you're on your way, okay?"

Emily paced slowly, clumsily, making her way back to Cook's flat. Her thoughts were still fogged due to the drugs and the alcohol. Although it was summer and she had a coat on – Emily was cold, and she was shivering slightly. A flash of a bright red sweater attracted Emily's attention. She stopped walking, and stared at the source of the distraction. It was Naomi, the wind blowing in her long, brown hair. Emily felt like she'd just awakened, completely focused on the love of her life that stood just across the road. "Naomi!" She shouted, but Naomi just started walking away. "Naomi, wait!"

Emily started following Naomi, but the other girl only seemed to pick up the pace and get further away from Emily. "Naomi, come back!" Emily started running, dropping the jacket Frank had given her and shouting out her name. Emily could hear the echo of Naomi's laughter in her head, yet she wasn't able to catch up with her.

The sound of a honking car surprised Emily, and she fell back, her face a few meters away from the car. "Are you fucking mental, you bloody idiot!" An angry masculine voice came from inside the vehicle.

"Fuck off!" Emily hissed as she got up on her feet and ran to the other side of the road. Naomi was standing just before a turn, gazing playfully at Emily. "Naomi, just fucking wait!" But Naomi only laughed in reply to Emily's pleas and continued running away. Emily stopped running in order to quickly catch her breath, and then she began chasing Naomi once more.

She stopped when Naomi stood in the middle of the pavement, only a few feet away from her. With a racing heart and a heavy breath, Emily muttered an angry "What the fuck, Naomi?!'". Naomi shrugged and raised her eyebrows in fake surprise. "Oh quit fucking around, you twat! You're supposed to be dead, what the fuck are you doing here?"

Naomi took off yet again, and Emily groaned with frustration before she returned to the chase. Naomi's laughter could be heard clearly inside Emily's head yet again, and Emily could hear Naomi calling her from the distance. The chill air tore through Emily's lungs and throat, causing Emily to feel as though a chunk of ice that had pierced through her insides. Her legs hurt, and she was struggling to breathe, but she didn't let it stop her from running after the love of her life.

Emily stopped running. She had arrived at a small local park, and Naomi was sitting on one of the benches, holding an unlit cigarette between her fingers. "Jesus Christ!" Emily exhaled heavily and sat next to Naomi, staring at her with disbelief.

"Wow, Ems, I haven't got a stare like that from you since… That one time after Effy's boss had dinner at our place," Naomi pulled out a clipper lighter and lit the cigarette, inhaling from it deeply before smirking at Emily. "Do you remember that time? I'm pretty sure the entire neighborhood knew exactly how good you were that night."

Emily, on her part, shook her head slowly, a scowl forming on her face. "Naomi, you ran away!"

"Oh, don't be such a pussy. You needed to sober up either way, I mean really, you look like crap." Naomi pressed her lips together and moved a strand of Emily's hair behind her ear. "I love your scowl-face." Tears came out of Emily's eyes, streaming slowly down her cheeks, to the point where they fall off her chin.

"You didn't tell me, you didn't even tell me!" The anger that had built up within Emily since Naomi's death burst out, but Naomi remained calm. Calmer than she'd ever been, Emily thought.

"I didn't want to hurt you." Naomi shrugged in reply.

"You didn't want to fucking hurt me? You fucking idiot! I could've spent more time with you, I could've helped you get better! I could've watched stupid T.V shows with you, I could've kissed you again. How did not telling me prevent me from being hurt?" Emily yelled at Naomi, whose eyes widened with surprise.

"Em, you need to calm down," Naomi took in more of the cigarette smoke. "You needed to focus on your educational plan. Not on your unemployed, cancery girlfriend."

"Oh yeah, Naoms. I'm just so fucking focused on my studies right now, all thanks to your brilliant idea."

"Well you should be, so my honorable acts of sparing my sorrow from you don't all go to waste." Naomi leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Emily's cheek. Emily nearly jumped at the warmth that radiated from Naomi's lips. Real, she thought.

"I miss you every single day, every single minute. It's awful." Emily rested her head on Naomi's shoulder, dwelling on the heat.

"I was pretty sure it's the one thing I told you not to do. I told you not to miss me, didn't I?" Naomi wrapped her arm around Emily, stroking her arm gently.

"You, uh, whispered it. Just before you went to sleep." Emily took in a shaky breath as the painful memories flooded her brain. Naomi, her hair short and weak, lying in her hospital bed. Emily twitched at the memory of the hollow sound of Naomi's breath, and how feeble it was.

"Well, I don't know what I expected, you've always been a little rebel. Like that one time when you had a fist fight with Katie. Oh wait, no that was just her being the cow that she is." Naomi sighed and leaned her head on Emily's, her eyes looking at the serene surroundings.

"What am I supposed to do?" Emily's voice was cracked and unstable.

"You seem to be pretty happy making out with randoms at pubs." Emily could feel Naomi's cheeks shifting to create a smirk. She pulled away, looking at Naomi's face. "When was it that you completely lost your sense of humor? I mean, Christ's sake, Em, you didn't even laugh at Katie!" She kissed Emily's forehead. "You have to leave. You can't stay here, where there's too many memories, not forever. Go back to New York, start over with a sarcastic blonde feminist dyke, I'm sure there's plenty of those there." Emily chuckled dryly, and Naomi tightened her hug. "Just… live."

"Save me," Emily whispered, and snuggled into Naomi. Her warmth was mesmerizing, it felt like home.

"Can't do that, Ems. You have to save yourself." Naomi finished the cigarette and threw the stub away.

Then, they sat in silence, not saying a single word. At some point, the lights that up until that point kept the bench area illuminated went off, and left them in total darkness. The sky was pitch black, except the twinkling stars that decorated it. The park was empty with but the two of them in it, yet the silence didn't feel like a burden. Emily's eyes started to close, and after the excitement, she started to relax. Safe and sound in Naomi's embrace, it was the first time in ages when Emily fell asleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

"Mum! There's a girl on the bench, I think she's dead!" Emily opened her eyes. It was early morning, and a little boy was pointing at her and looking at his concerned mother. She sat up and looked around her. Naomi wasn't there.

"I think you should go home, this is no place for young ladies to sleep. Bad example for the kids, you see." The boy's mother stood next to her son, throwing a judging look at Emily.

"Wait 'til you hear what I used to do to my girlfriend on benches like these." Emily teased the woman, getting up and walking away from the park, and to Cook's apartment. Although her head hurt, she hadn't felt as good in a long time. She felt free and warm, like a fire was lit inside of her, fueling her, guarding her.

* * *

**Author's note: That's it for chapter two. I'm already working on chapter three, hoping it won't take too long to publish. Have a great day!**


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